Dear lady on the sidewalk in front of the post office,

You are probably a very nice person, although I do not know because you are a total stranger. I agree that you do not look crazy, at least not in the stereotypical smelling-of-booze-pushing-a-shopping-cart-ranting-about-the-end-of-the-world way. Perhaps you have a little bit of trouble understanding personal space, but in general I know your intentions are harmless. You most likely live a very normal, average life right here in town. There’s a pretty good chance you even see a doctor regularly and are not carrying any infectious diseases.

I’m sure my son does remind you of when your “babies” were that age. I understand that time goes by very quickly, and I should cherish every moment. (You may be shocked to learn you are not the first person to give me that advice.) I am incredibly blessed to have such a beautiful child. It’s great that your daughters seem like the kind of girls who will give you lots of grandchildren some day – although perhaps that’s more than I needed to know about them –  and I hope they are as beautiful as my own Baby Evan.

All that being said, if you ever EVER EVER put your lips on my baby’s face again, please believe I will punch you in the mouth.

Thanks for understanding!
xoxo
Suzanne