Things you never ever thought you would do…until you became a parent
1. Pick boogers out of someone else’s nose.
2. Refer to a diaper loaded with crap as poopies.
3. Show your boobs in public several times a day (without any Mardi Gras beads in sight).
4. Really enjoy looking at pictures of other people’s babies.
5. The mom-spit thing.
6. Pee with the door open.
7. Examine passing strollers the way you used to look at sports cars.
8. Trade in your US Weekly subscription for Parenting and Cookie.
9. Truly appreciate sleep.
10. EVERYTHING ELSE you judged people for before you had kids.
Additions?
I may or may not do number 6 now. I mean, I live alone. And the cats don’t close the door when they use the litter box.
Is Cookie any good????
I’m so used to peeing with the door open that I actually started to unbutton my trousers with the door wide open at my brothers house last week.
#11 Stop eating, not because you’re trying to lose weight, but because you forget that although you have fed the baby several times already you have not yet eaten yourself.
The way YOU used to look at sports cars?! Jeez. Parenthood really has changed you.
1a. Picking boogers out of someone else’s nose as entertainment. i.e. “Whose got boogies!? You got boogies! the Tickle Monster’s gonna steal your boogies!”
#12 planning your day around when someone else has to eat and carrying around a bag of diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, blankets, anything you may or may not need while being out of the house for 3 hours with a baby.
Also, singing songs about poop while you change your baby.