WE’VE RECENTLY STARTED HAVING A PROBLEM WITH SCREAMING IN OUR HOUSE.

Oh, sorry about that. I’m just used to having to SPEAK VERY LOUDLY TO BE HEARD.

I’ll try to use my inside voice with people who aren’t 21 months old.

Like I was shouting saying, some people (spoken: toddlers) are having trouble controlling the volume of their voice during daily activities. Drop your toy? SCREAM. Can’t reach something? SCREAM. Someone told you “no”? SCREAM. Time to get up! SCREAM. Time to play a super fun game! SCREAM. OK, dude, you can do anything you want if you’ll just shut up. SCREAM.

And then just when things are finally quiet and I get TWO SECONDS to check my email, this happens:

God Bless you Crayola for inventing washable markers

It’s exhausting. We have no real idea how to deal with the screaming or make it stop. We’ve set up a time-out spot (a pack-n-play in the dining room) but he doesn’t seem to understand the connection between the screaming and the punishment. I suppose it’s my own fault for not being as consistent with the TO’s as I should be but it can be hard to judge what infractions against the noise ban are worth punishing. I mean, he’s a kid, he makes a lot of noise. Some yelling is happy and fun. Sometimes the happy fun yelling just gets a little loud accidentally. And then sometimes what I think is just laughing and shouting turns into THE SCREAMING. Most difficult is the screaming while stuck under a nursing baby. Do I put down the baby to enforce a time-out and risk a screaming infant? Do I use some other kind of punishment? Do I have to learn to nurse in a Moby wrap and be ready to SPRING INTO ACTION at any given moment to deal with toddler angst? Because that sounds even more exhausting than just living with the screaming.

Hey, did you know parenting is HARD?

I know poor Little Evan is still adjusting to being a big brother. I know he’s having a hard time sharing his mama (evidenced by his constant requests of “down? down? down?” while patting Caroline’s bouncy seat anytime I’m holding her). I know he’s only two months away from turning 2 (sob sob sob) and this is normal behavior for that age. I know his language skills haven’t yet caught up to his emotions and that leads to a lot of frustration. But NONE OF THOSE THINGS help when your head is splitting open from the screaming. I would normally wrap up a post like this with a plea for advice but I suspect the best advice I’m going to get is “buy some earplugs and start counting down the days until he’s 3 5 16 30.”

It’s a good thing he’s so cute.

Go ahead, try to stay mad at me.