So maybe it’s because I begged my way into the Top 50 60 of that Babble list or maybe it’s because my blog is finally showing up in Google searches but I’ve been getting a TON of spam recently. I actually get far more spam than I get actual comments from people who aren’t offering to sell me coffee makers and erectile dysfunction medication, which is really depressing as I don’t drink coffee or have a penis. But a couple days ago I actually got a non-spam, non-commenter email from a real life human public relations person. The kind of PR person who offers mommy bloggers trips to Jamaica and free washing machines and all kinds of other awesome stuff. Unfortunately, all they were offering me was the “opportunity” to talk about their baby photo contest, without promising me any trips or major appliances. Not even a small appliance (like a coffee maker maybe?).

But since the PR person actually read my blog and remembered my baby’s name and because I’m convinced I have the world’s cutest baby, I’m totally going to enter The American Baby Photo Contest. And since you clearly have the second cutest baby in the world, you should too.

Here’s the sample cover American Baby sent me:

Super adorable, right? So let’s find a picture of Baby Evan that I should submit. How about this one?

Gnawing on dirty shoelaces makes him look smart, right?

Maybe this one?

This photo really shows what a good helper he is.

How about something really classic?

Naked baby pictures are always cute, right?

I suppose a really great cover shot should at least be in focus.

But he looks like his father!

We could try a close up:

"Hey Mom, you're doin' it wrong - let me show you how to adjust the f-stop."

Hmmm…those may not be my best choices but they do represent 99% of all the Baby Evan pictures on my computer. I think the moral of this story is a need a better camera before I’m going to win any photo contests. Or at least some lessons on how to get a baby to pose for pictures. I suppose lesson #1 is “glue baby to the floor”.