Signs you might be 9 months pregnant

1. You plan a day of errands around which stores have the cleanest bathrooms.
2. Really old people start holding the door open for you.
3. The children’s section of the bookstore is suddenly your favorite place on earth.
4. When cashiers ask “Would you like to donate to the Children’s Shelter/Hospital/Cancer Society” you always say yes. You may also cry a little.
5. Spending $50 on a fancy diaper trash can seems perfectly reasonable.
6. You walk waddle down the cat-calliest street in town and don’t get a single whistle.
7. Staring at tiny diapers is just as entertaining as staring at George Clooney.
8. Making it to the post office, library, dry cleaners AND grocery store in one day is a huge accomplishment.
9. No one looks at your boobs anymore because your belly is so much huger.
10. Your mailbox is full of coupons, samples and letters from baby-product companies that start “Congratulations on your new arrival!” You consider peeing on them before sending them back with a note that says “I’m still pregnant, douchebags!”

4 Responses to “Signs you might be 9 months pregnant”

  1. sarrible says:

    Did you crack and start reading the tiny diapers already?

  2. lalaland13 says:

    I don’t know why a “possibly related post” is how to avoid World of Warcraft automatic subscription renewal. I thought they meant how to get like, Vogue to stop renewing you automatically. But they meant WoW. I think they’re trying to bait you.

    On a more relevant matter, you are doing better than I ever could and you’re almost there. Although I know you’re sick of hearing that.

    Weird question: Do the animals know you’re pregnant? I mean the ones you share a house with. Not like, birds flying overhead as you walk down the street.

  3. bebehblog says:

    Lala – Clearly, WordPress is trying to anger me into early labor with all this WoW talk.

    I think my dog knows something is up with my uterus – he seems to enjoy putting his head on my stomach and being extra cuddly. The cats see pregnancy as a horrible inconvenience depriving them of a perfectly good lap. I’ll try to take a picture of my cat sitting on my stomach if I can tolerate her hot little body long enough. All three of them are in for a HUGE adjustment when we bring home Baby E and they are no longer the center of attention.

  4. sarrible says:

    That’s why Brutus is coming to live with me after the baby is born! Yay!

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