Hit by the pregnancy symptom truck

Remember how a couple weeks ago I was all “This pregnancy is so easy! Most days I barely remember I’m even pregnant! I can’t wait to me MORE pregnant!”

Yeah, that was stupid. I am DEFINITELY pregnant. I could star in my own made for TV movie called Mega-Pregnant Woman Versus Giant Bottle of Tums and I wouldn’t even need a stunt double.

My feet hurt. I’m exhausted, even with a daily nap. I am irritated by totally irrational things and want to scream at random strangers. My clothes don’t fit. I can’t bend over in the middle. Everything from crackers to fruit to water gives me heartburn. I’m being regularly kicked in the bladder and I pee a little every time I laugh, jump or sneeze. I never sleep through the night. I’m always hot. My boobs are huge and sore (and here’s a new one: I have breast tissue that extends back into my armpit so even my underarms are painful). I keep getting giant crater sized pimples I’m afraid Baby Evan might get sucked into and disappear forever. And to top it all off, I STILL have morning sickness in the mornings – I get out of bed, I throw up for about 10 minutes, then I start my day. Every. Day.

As of my appointment this morning I am up 19 pounds and got a Talking To about adding more exercise to my routine, which is ridiculous because a) I chase a toddler all day b) I’m still going to Stroller Strides at least 3 times a week and c) I CHASE A TODDLER ALL DAY. Yes I know I’ll have to lose all this weight again, thanks for the breaking news. I know I’ve had this discussion on the internet before but I wish there was a way to just not even mention weight or weight gain in pregnancy at all until it became an actual health issue. My blood pressure is good, the baby is good, shut the eff up. I have the sudden urge to yell “LEAVE THE PREGNANT WOMEN ALOOOOOOOONE!!!!111!!!!!11!” but I’m too tired to actually yell at anything.

I think the only thing more exhausting than thinking about 19 more weeks of this is imagining life with a toddler AND a newborn.

I’m gonna go lie down.

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14 Responses to “Hit by the pregnancy symptom truck”

  1. That sucks! Sorry it’s hitting you hard this time. I’m really panicked about that whole next-pregnancy-I-can-only-sleep-when-the-toddler-sleeps thing. You are a real trouper!!! let me know if you want some company. I can bring food!

  2. Amy says:

    Oh gosh, so sorry. I think purchasing some more pretty baby dresses is in order….as well as an extra portion of dessert? Who cares about the weight if it makes you happy?

  3. TMae says:

    Leave the pregnant ladies alone, indeed! You’re growing a baby for crying out loud. :-/ I hope you get some heartburn relief. Heartburn was the single worst thing about being pregnant.

  4. Amanda says:

    We are supposed to start trying next month and this certainly doesn’t set the baby making mood! I need happy pregnancy thoughts. Wrong blog for that?

  5. Natalie says:

    Don’t worry about after the baby gets here. That freaked me out to no end “OMG! A newborn AND a toddler, wtf am I going to dooooo??” But. The little Evan you are chasing right now will be 4 months older when the baby is born…that may not seem like much, but, I promise, it won’t be that bad and you won’t remember the bad parts anyway, you’ll take every day as it comes and you’ll be awesome, because you’re an awesome mama.

    And tell your doctor to go run a marathon and shut his/her trap. You look amazing.

  6. Emmie Bee says:

    Baby & toddler is SO. MUCH. FUN! I’m serious.

    I’m sorry about the symptoms. I hear ya. My doctor told me the second pregnancy is always worse. WHo knows if it’s really true but it definitely was true for me.

  7. Swistle says:

    I remember in my third trimester, when PREGNANT WOMEN ARE EXPECTED TO GAIN A POUND A WEEK, I went in after a month and the nurse was all “*low whistle* You’re up FIVE POUNDS this month!” in a really ominous, sorry-for-you, hope-there’s-nothing-seriously-wrong voice. And later I wished I’d asked where she got her nursing degree, that she wouldn’t realize that was PERFECTLY NORMAL.

  8. Carrie says:

    I hated those lectures about gaining weight. I agree with you completely – it just shouldn’t be discussed unless there is a problem. If there is diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. then it can be talked about. Every time I’d go in, my doctor would tell me how much pregnant women were “supposed” to gain. Once I was past that point I just looked at him like, really? We’re still talking about this?

    Of course I say this now after I lost the 76 lbs I gained during my pregnancy. If I hadn’t been able to lose it I may have a different perspective.

    Hang in there!

  9. Audrey says:

    I friggin hate that they bring weight into it. I made it clear to my OB early on that she may only want me to gain 15lbs but I gained 30 with my first child and lost it all so I expect I’ll probably gain 30 again. They haven’t mentioned their weight goal since then, but I figure I’m probably at it by now so we’ll see what they say at the next appointment. Tell your nurses to weigh you facing away from the scale and not to tell you what you gained. Then tell the OB you don’t want to discuss weight at the appointments anymore.

  10. ryan says:

    I must be blessed because my midwives never ever made any comments about my weight and I gained a solid 40 lbs. by the end.

  11. brigidkeely says:

    I freaked out at a doctor visit once because according to their scale I’d gained like 10 pounds in one week. The LPN pointed out that I was measuring consistently the same size/same increase, had no negative symptoms, etc and probably the scale was just off and I should relax. My weight was never, ever an issue and I am very very fat and that was one of my fears (and part of why I left a previous practice, because they didn’t have a scale up to my weight and I had to go to an office next door to use THEIR scale, and they tutt-tutted over me/my weight. Also: they directed comments to my husband and not me, which was odd as my husband did not have a uterus and was not pregnant.).

    Anyway. Some women gain a lot of weight during pregnancy, some women gain very little weight. Women who have lost weight previously to getting pregnant are more likely to gain more rather than less weight. Being fat doesn’t send tendrils of fatty evil to kill the baby, and gaining more than 15 pounds won’t automatically consign you and the baby to a lifetime of torment and misery… or even pregnancy/birth complications. You are active, you exercise, it sounds like you’re eating well. Focus on getting the nutrients, activity, and rest that you need and don’t sweat little things like pounds gained.

    And try carbonated water/drinks for your heart burn. The carbonation can help break up the acid floating on top of what’s in your stomach.

  12. lalaland13 says:

    I have half those symptoms and I’m not even pregnant. Also, you work out way more than I do, and the only baby I have is a dark chocolate-covered peanut baby.

    Women will never be allowed to gain weight, huh? Not even when you’re creating life, it’s still all about how you’re too this or too that or ugh. Stupid patriarchy.

    Hope you feel better soon. Maybe girl babies are harder on their mommies? My mom had to go into the hospital with me at four months because she couldn’t keep any food down.

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