Wandering Thoughts
It’s that time of year again, when we’re waiting to find out if E’s going to be promoted switching jobs it’s sort of complicated and everything is up in the air. We’ve done this for several years now, including the time we got surprise orders to San Diego while I was pregnant, so it might feel like you’ve read this post before. (I assure you this is new, I’ve just whining about the same things AGAIN.) So far, things have always worked out and we’ve managed to stay put in Connecticut, much to my delight and E’s…less than delight. He likes the place, just not being passed over.
I’ll admit that in past years I was sort of relieved E wasn’t promoted. That’s a shitty thing to be happy about, but the logistics of moving are so overwhelming in our current house-owning state. We bought when the market was still high (not at the peak, thank God, or we’d be so far underwater on this house we’d never get out) so selling it without shelling out a huge chunk of cash is going to be hard. It’s even harder to realize that all the work we’ve put into it won’t bring us any return on investment and we’ll have to start over at zero dollars. Not being a home owner has its advantages…but I love my home.
Beyond the financial aspect of moving, there’s the emotional aspect of leaving somewhere I’ve lived longer than anywhere else in my life. Actually, I’ve living in this HOUSE longer than I’ve lived anywhere else in my life – before this, my record was all 4 years of high school in my parent’s house in Virginia. I moved every single year of college, then twice three times in the first year of marriage. The funny thing is, I used to like moving. I grew up in a military household and thought I could keep doing it indefinitely. But the truth is, being settled is comforting. A support system is important to me, especially as a mom. I have mom friends. My kids have kid friends. I have a mechanic, a pharmacy, a preschool, a library card, a favorite playground, and a zillion other things I don’t want to leave.
But. Even after I’ve said all that out loud (and to myself many, many times) I am not going to freak out if we have to leave. We are still in the easily-movable years with the kids where they adjust and make friends quickly. The Navy comes with a built in support system for families so I wouldn’t be starting for the bottom of a sad, dark pit – more like half way up a ladder that reaches the top. Starting over without the enormous costs of a house could give us the freedom to build our savings faster and splurge on things like family vacations more often. If E got promoted we might actually see him on a regular basis, instead of just waving at him as he runs out the door for another 36 hour shift.
To be totally honest, a lot of our moving options sound kind of…exciting. San Diego. Hawaii. Japan. Guam. Yes, it would be insanely far from our families, but they’re all limited-time-offers (and I am SURE my friends and relatives would find a way to visit me in Hawaii). We have friends in a lot of those places already. Even if we get transferred to somewhere on the East Coast a change might be good for us – what better excuse to purge all our unnecessary stuff, get organized and start fresh? I’m almost ready for that kind of challenge. Almost.
There is just so much uncertainty in our lives for the moment, thinking about it and NOT thinking about it both take a huge amount of effort. I don’t have the energy for much worrying on top of the thinking too, but please excuse me if more of this leaks out of my head between now and the end of April.
Tags: budget, deep thoughts, family, house, military life, moving, Navy, things I hate
I always find the prospect of moving so exciting but the actual work of it daunting. I’ll keep you guys in my prayers but I know it will work out just as it should. Not that it makes the worry & anticipation any easier.
Good luck! It sounds kind of exciting, actually. We moved around a bit when I was younger – my family (except for my parents) all live in MA/RI and we moved to IL when I was 5 and here to MI when I was 9.
Oi. I totally get the benefits from each side. I grew up military but we never moved after I was 3 and we went to NC from Germany. It sucked for me because we lived on a base so all of my friends still moved even though my parents thought they were doing us a favor by keeping us in one spot. But you are in a diff situation. I can see it sucking for the financial aspects with the house, and because you just got all of those memberships to places. But the kids are still young enough to transition with friends and schools. Plus moving to some place new is an adventure, one that could open them up to experiences they might never have otherwise. I both envy you your potential move and offer my sympathies in the turmoil it brings with it.
I can’t even imagine that kind of uncertainty – it would drive me crazy! I hope everything works out for the best for you guys… And Adam bought our place at the PEAK – it has since lost $100,000 in value. We are never moving. :(
We were in a very similar boat recently. I hope you get some clarity and resolution soon! The waiting to find out is agonizing.
We move often although not in the military! I stumbled upon your blog less than a year ago, and just love reading. We moved to Hawaii from Danbury CT 2.5 years ago! In a very mom-like, non-stalker way, I always thought if I still lived in CT when I found your blog I would have asked to get together for a play date! I have 2 girls, 1yr and almost 3yr. If you get orders to Hawaii, totally contact me, id be happy to help in any way! Before I moved here I met a mom through her blog and she has become one of my closest friends out here. You just never know, huh! Best of luck and prayers during th entire process!! -Naomi
Thank you Naomi! Evan’s best school friend is actually moving to Hawaii in a few months, so if we had to go at least we wouldn’t feel totally alone.
Hmmm, Hawaii sounds exciting… I would be up for a visit if you would let us come! I totally get this… we moved from in August (city to suburbs) and we are still trying to get settled from a dry cleaners to a heat/ac company. Change is hard. I am guessing it is impossible not to think about it. April is when you will find out? I guess I am hoping for a quicker answer since it seems like you are okay with either… right?
Hopefully in February we find out if E gets a new job, then it could be anywhere from a few months to a year before we find out where he’s going, then MORE time before we actually have to go. I guess it’s a good thing it doesn’t all happen very quickly but the waiting is the worst.
As an Airforce brat who spent more than half of her life growing up overseas … I hear ya. Waiting for those orders to find out where we would move and when I would have to leave my friends was frustrating. And even though as a kid I longed for living in the states; looking back? Living in Europe {multiple times} and seeing the things I did was amazing. I’m routing for Guam for you guys – that would be amazing! {but only if you want it, lol}
Does it make me a bad person if I really want E to get transferred to the Great Lakes Naval station? It would make stalking you much easier.
I don’t think that’s one of our possibilities. The Navy spent way too much money teaching him about nuclear power to let him go work somewhere else.
Boooooooo.
I can identify with this: I don’t want to move—but if I HAD to move, I could get excited about it!
We are in exactly the same spot at the moment, well except for the house part. B only has a month left to sign orders before they hand him orders but of course nothing appeals to him. Then there is the current boat drama, and promises of other jobs that would be phenomenal and senior chief results this year. Blah. I have my top three choices but of course it depends on the navy.
Good luck! Some people just plain thrive under those conditions. I think I’d like it, just for the novelty. Unfortunately, the mister’s job has meant we’re stuck here and I sometimes feel that acutely. Prior to now, I moved all the time!
Good luck with whatever happens!
Best of luck! It’s all so exciting and terrifying all at the same time. My cousin and his wife just moved across the pond to Belgium and it was quite the fiasco.