Schooooooools out for summer! Good thing schools not out forever, or I would already be going insane. For now I’m planning to enjoy as much sleeping as possible.

Sunday:

E is baffled why ANYONE would lie in the horrible, horrible sand, let alone someone who shares his DNA

The weirdo that made him a father, celebrating Father’s Day at Chili’s.

Wizards in training

Monday:

Bed head

She insisted Baby Jesus needed to come to the post office with us

The princess demanded a strawberry coolata. Princesses run on Dunkin.

Tuesday:

Snacks in her chair are her new favorite.

Next year they will BOTH be getting on buses to go to school.

Monsters at the grocery store. MONSTERS.

Wednesday:

Both kids wanted to give the afternoon driver a present. They’re going to miss her.

Water slide party at Stay & Play!

Creepy baby watches you in the bath.

Thursday:

Morning puppet shows

Afternoon weridos in boxes

Evening photo assistants

Friday:

Stroller Strides in our AWESOME Cocoon X2. They love it.

Free Fanta Orange samples at BJ’s. You can see the crazy sugar high in her eyes.

MOAR MAGIC SPARKLERS

Saturday:

I went to a (sad) estate sale where everything left in the house was for sale. I wish there was a way to go back in after the new owners fix it up, it’s going to be GORGEOUS.

I bought a stool at the estate sale. They are insisting it is a table.

Chugging her lemonade while refusing her dinner.

Tomorrow we start summer (outside!) swim lessons with the kids in two separate classes. Evan will be with bigger kids who I hope will challenge him. He’s the kind of kid who sees someone doing something cool and immediately wants to know how soon he can do it too.

Tomorrow I also start putting the nursery together FOR REAL because I cannot have a baby when I have NOWHERE to put it. And I would really like to have a baby ASAP.  An outside baby would mean no more heartburn, which at this point is so bad I spend half the night staring at my bottle of Tums thinking “Oh, those kidney stones aren’t SO bad”. Plus after the actual getting-out part my pelvis wouldn’t hurt so much. You KNOW this is why nature makes the end of pregnancy so miserable – because it has to be BAD before you start hoping to push a watermelon out of your lady parts. I am ready for the watermelon.

I’ve been doing these weekly posts since I was pregnant with Caroline. She’s now a fully functional human (well, unless you try to stop pushing her on the swings, then she is a hideous raging monster beast) and I’m only a few weeks away from another baby. If the entire internet self destructed tomorrow, these posts the things I’d be the saddest to lose.

Sunday:

This was pretty much the only awesome stroller we DIDN’T take home from New York. It’s really awesome.

Caroline made herself right at home.

It was so great to have E with us in NYC for the first time.

Monday:

Reading Spiderman books to Doggy. Obviously.

Bubble machines are priceless. PRICELESS.

Someone is still exhausted from New York.

Tuesday:

She thinks the a/c vent is tiny stairs for tiny people.

Another Tuesday, another non-stress test

They can find their way around the hospital without me now.

Wednesday:

OFFICIALLY SUMMER

Weirdoes

Swam all the way to the deep end by herself

Thursday:

How one child gets so many scrapes and bruises (and almost never mentions them) is beyond me

Cute kid. Trashed house.

Performing at the spring Science Fair. He knew all the words.

Friday:

Enjoying her tiny rain-proof house at Stroller Strides

God bless iPads. Seriously. SERIOUSLY.

Well earned cheeseburgers after our appointment.

Saturday:

I dunno, it’s a wall. I liked it.

The best food in the world.

Motherhood: when your nice relaxing bubble bath is ruined by this thing staring up at you.

I have too many things to do and not enough time to do them all, so I am mostly doing nothing. Besides editing pictures. That is both fun and able to be done while I sit on the couch and watch this Star Trek movie. Again. There’s a tribble! I love tribbles! Tomorrow I am making a pie, which should count as more than enough things for one pregnant lady to do in a weekend. Maybe I will make two pies, just to be sure someone besides me gets to eat some.

Almost half-way through May? How is that even possible?

Sunday:

When the weather is this nice, it’s hard NOT to go to church – we can almost see it from our yard.

Carrying 40 lbs on my back definitely counts as a workout.

Explaining to Daddy that quesadillas are the best.

Monday:

READY TO GO

Hats

Spring cleaning my favorite room of the house

Tuesday:

Good morning!

I think this sign is in the wrong place.

Thinking about running away, as usual

Wednesday:

CANONBALL!

Good listener waits his turn

Sleepy girl

Thursday:

Rain isn’t so bad when your raincoat is this cute

He already thinks balls are hilarious

Cheeseburgers are always the right answer.

  Friday:

I don’t even know what this thing is.

Caroline’s definition of “playdate” is “push me on the swing for two hours”.

This does not seem fair.

Saturday:

Caroline has joined a penguin colony

I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!

And then I died of cuteness.

It’s been pouring since about noon and I have a serious case of the “I don’t really want to do anything”s. Luckily tomorrow is Sunday and I can tackle the laundry, dishes, piles of toys AND get my plants in the ground. Probably.

We did a lot of stuff this week. There was also a lot of falling asleep on the couch, in the car, on the floor, sitting up, etc. And right now both kids are about to fall asleep next to me while I try to beat level 79 in Candy Crush. It’s NEVER going to happen.

Sunday:

I’m addicted to Bagel Thins.

Family dinner date to Johnny Rockets

She liked this game WAY TOO MUCH. I’m terrified of her teenage years.

Monday:

Caroline’s idea of a good morning: lying on my bedroom floor eating graham crackers.

Watermelon serving size: half for breakfast, half for lunch.

Karate Kid VII: Attack of the Ginger Babies

Tuesday:

My dentist is cooler than your dentist.

Swigin’ by the Sea

They’re very into boats, even indoor boats.

Wednesday:

Who are these quiet, well behaved children playing during my preschool teacher conference?

Fancy new gym is FANCY!

Lookin’ good, Nature.

Thursday:

Good morning, this is your pilot waking you up…

Not the least big scared of the huge, be-horned cow.

Picnic dinner at the playground

Friday:

He’s covering his ears so he won’t be scared by the Surprise Symphony.

Stroller Strides. Hat.

Much much MUCH needed solo evening walk.

Saturday:

When did bookstores start selling SO MANY TOYS?

Enjoy it at someone else’s house, kid, since I am NEVER buying you a drum set.

Future jockey in training

  I wrote that whole post and used up all my lives in Candy Crush and Caroline is STILL asleep. But E is also home from work so we’re going to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with some maybe-not-exactly-authentic burritos at Moe’s. Any excuse to eat guacamole is a good one. Happy Weekend!

The kids go back to school today after being home all last week. HALLELUJAH. I honestly think part of my recent emotional breakdown was due to having zero time to myself last week. Kids are hard, man.

Speaking of my emotional breakdown, I need to thank every single person who commented or emailed me or gave me a hug in person after I left that big mess of feelings here. (When bloggers say that I always imagine they’ve been completely over-run with supportive emails – I got four, but they were all super amazing.) Knowing I’m not the only person who feels like this instantly made me feel 100% better. I mean, I already knew other people felt like this since I’ve had approximately 3,000 different versions of that same conversation in my lifetime so far, but sometimes it’s nice to just PUT IT ALL OUT THERE and be reminded people are wonderful and lovely and good and willing to cheer me up even if I say “don’t cheer me up!”

I’m taking every bit of advice and encouragement to heart and doing my best to be as kind to myself as every has been to me.

Last night I took a shower with the fantastic new philosophy body wash I bought myself as a treat. I stayed up too late finishing some new artwork for over the fireplace I’m really, really excited about. Today I’m going to the gym, but I’m going to do the stuff I like – the elliptical and the weight machines – and not feel bad I’m not running on the treadmill. Then I’m going to pick up the kids and go do something fun. We’ll run around and enjoy the weather and maybe get a scoop of ice cream and I’ll take five hundred pictures of them. Then we’ll come home and chill out and read books and make something delicious for dinner and talk and laugh and enjoy the life we’re living. I’ll feel the sun on my skin and see the trees about to bust into full leaf and taste every bite of my food and smell the flowers my children pick for me and listen to their laughs and shouts of joy.

I will not let my internal voice be the loudest thing I hear. I will not let it stop me from enjoying the life I have now, even if I’m not comfortable with who I am. I will NOT let this attitude spill over into my children’s minds.

I can’t fix who I am on the outside until I get things back to normal – or maybe until I reset my normal. I need “lose weight” to be at least fifth on my list of daily thoughts, behind “Be a good wife”, “be a good mother”, “enjoy this day and “damn, this bacon is delicious.” Maybe some day I’ll bump it off the list completely. For now I’d just be happy if I can look at a photo of myself ans just think “Wow, she looks happy.”

p.s. My very dear friend Katherine volunteered to sign me up for the Mom on a Mission Challenge to remind me to take care of myself. I gladly accepted her gracious offer and I’m looking forward to really focusing on my own health and fitness in May. It has a small buy-in but you can win cool prizes – and you can be on my team even if you’re not a Stroller Strides member. If you’re interested let me know or check out the information here. I’m not getting anything out of other people signing up and no one asked me to recruit anyone, I just needed the encouragement and a friend recognized that. I’m a very lucky woman.