Pukey McPukerson: The Sequel

In the past month or so, Baby Evan’s habit of going all Linda Blair on everyone and everything within a 20 foot radius has really improved. I no longer have to act out the ridiculously annoying scene where I say “OK, but he’ll probably throw up on you” to anyone who asks to hold him and then apologize profusely when he actually does throw up on them and they hand him back with disgust. It’s not my fault you’re wearing your best/favorite/only shirt/sweater/work uniform and it’s made of silk/wool/diamonds. I TOLD YOU TO TAKE THE BURP CLOTH.

Having a baby that doesn’t throw up constantly is like having a whole new baby. My stress levels have fallen dramatically, as has my dampness and general smelliness. I do baby laundry every other day instead of twice a day. My diaper bag now contains toys, diapers, and my wallet instead of fourteen burp cloths. I guess all that “he’ll grow out of it” advice was right, although I still maintain telling a mom whose baby pukes every ten seconds to just “wait it out, it’ll get better in 6 to 12 months” is the LEAST HELPFUL THING EVER unless it’s followed by an offer to babysit. For the next 6 to 12 months.

Of course the gradual improvement in spit up levels probably would have gone largely unnoticed – unless something happened that reminded me just how awful the puking used to be. That something happened last night. Baby Evan slept straight through to 3 am last night (yah!) when I rolled him into bed and snuggled down to feed him. I was just drifting off when all the milk that had gone into the baby came erupting out again, soaking me, my tank top, the blanket we were lying on, the baby’s clothes and the baby. I was SOAKED. By some miracle the sheets were spared so I didn’t have to wake E up and strip the bed. I didn’t strip the baby either, since he slept through the puking, although I did worry about him for the rest of the night. He seems totally fine this morning so I guess my OMG SWINE FLU fears were premature and it was just a freak tummy bubble. I will keep an eye on him (and my shirt and my rug and my couch) today for any more pukesplosions, but let’s hope this was just a one-time situation.

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4 Responses to “Pukey McPukerson: The Sequel”

  1. Other Erin says:

    Babies seem a bit gross.

  2. Angie says:

    My 3 month old (Cooper) seems to be able to sense when the burp cloth is on my shoulder. “Is it there? Damn. Ooh, she put it down. *RALPH*” The kid’s evil. I’m sure of it. Or just really gassy.

  3. Amanda (breamworthy on Jezebel) says:

    Hmm… didn’t someone comment on your last post about how garlic was supposed to upset babies’ stomachs?

  4. h_a_l says:

    Oh Man – Ivy is just starting to with the insane spit up, and don’t even try to salvage your outfit with a blanket or burp cloth because she will turn her head the other way and get it all over whatever part of you is not covered by a blanket. Although sometimes she’s courteous enough to projectile it right over me and directly on to the floor.

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