Pregnant vs. Drunk

Being pregnant IS like being drunk:
1. Both can make you puke
2. Both can make you fat
3. It can lead to poor decisions – example: “Why, yes, I think Zoolander is a great name for my baby!” or “Dude, watch me jump off this balcony!”
4. You may crave Taco Bell at 2 am, but will probably regret that decision in the morning
5. You think and talk about peeing a really annoying amount
6. Both can make you forget where you parked your car
7. You walk funny
8. You have an immediate love for other people in the same condition
9. You become completely overemotional and may cry in public
10. Both happen quite often at high school proms

Being pregnant IS NOT like being drunk
1. More drunk is fun. More pregnant is not.
2. Drunk can lead to pregnant, but usually not vice versa (although there is this)
3. Even a really bad hangover does not last 9 months
4. …Or 18 years
5. When you drink til you puke, you feel better, but when you puke because you’re pregnant, you still feel like crap
6. There are no drunk preparedness classes (besides college)
7. Your mother is usually happy when you get pregnant
8. Although both can lead to drugs, I hear the kind you get during labor are waaaaay better
9. When you are drunk, a table is a place to dance. When you are pregnant, a table is a place to sit down.
10. No one throws you a party just for getting drunk

5 Responses to “Pregnant vs. Drunk”

  1. lalaland13 says:

    I love this list. Is it yours? But I would quibble with No. 10 on the latter list by saying simply: 21st birthday parties.

  2. bebehblog says:

    Yes, I made this up. I started thinking about it last when I could not stop talking about how much I needed to pee.
    I see your point about 21st birthday parties.
    How about “No one ever throws you a party where the sole purpose is to get pregnant” or “No one brings you cake and presents to celebrate being an alcoholic”?

  3. sarrible says:

    If anyone does bring cake and presents, that’s your first indication that your intervention is going to be AWESOME.

  4. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    Never say pregnancy addled your brain, this is priceless!

  5. #10 on the first list: Did you go to my high school? LOL!

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