Old Life vs. Mom Life
When you’re a mom, it’s important to take some time for yourself and continue to enjoy the things you used to before having kids…with a few minor modifications. Here’s a handy guide to your new life:
A relaxing spa day: Fluffy robe, aromatherapy massage, chatting with girlfriends, mimosa in the quiet room, pedicure.
Mom Version: Locking the bathroom door and peeing alone while your kids scream from the hallway and you sniff a bottle of baby shampoo.
Date Night: High heels, shaved legs, nice dress, sushi, bottle of wine, maybe a movie in a theater.
Mom Version: Flannel pants, pizza and Cars 2 because the Redbox at the grocery store was broken, in bed by 10 pm.
Shopping: Anthropologie, Pottery Barn, your favorite vintage shop, all while sipping a non-fat soy mocha latte.
Mom Version: Pushing a giant car-shaped cart through Target, buying shirts you didn’t trying on, sharing a slushy with a toddler who loudly demands new toys.
Going for a drive: Cruising in a convertible, stopping at a scenic overlook to take some photos, listening to classic rock
Mom Version: Circling the block for 45 minutes, playing Angry Birds on your phone in the driveway once the kids fall asleep.
Sleeping in: 11:30 am
Mom Version: 8 am
Cooking a gourmet meal: Blood Orange, Beet and Fennel Salad, Chard and Mushroom-Stuffed Breast of Veal,White Chocolate-Mint Pots de Crème with Candy Cane Brittle, $75 bottle of wine.
Mom version: Serving real grated Parmesan with the spaghetti instead of the powdered kind from a green can, wine someone gave you for Christmas 3 years ago
Vacation: Spur of the moment weekend getaway to Montreal, bed and breakfast, carriage ride, antiquing
Mom version: Disneyworld, planned a year in advance, breakfast with a person-sized Mickey Mouse that makes your kid cry
Wine tasting: At a vineyard
Mom Version: From a box
Seeing a show: Secret Radiohead concert at underground club you can only get into with a password
Mom Version: The Fresh Beat Band Live!
Romantic evening: Cocktails, fire place, lingerie, chocolate covered strawberries
Mom Version: Ahahahahaha what? I could be SLEEPING right now.
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See? Practically the same! What other Mom Life activities do you enjoy?
Tags: but true, funny, humor, kids, motherhood
Lunch: Stopping at a restaurant for a sit down sandwich during a leisurely solo clothes shopping trip.
Mom Version: Toasted cheese and the Price is Right at 11 am sharp.
Today it’s dino-shaped chicken nuggets.
sunday mornings in bed: lie in till 10am, freshly brewed cafetiere coffee, bagels, newspaper, classical music softly playing, maybe a bit of nookie if you are lucky…
Mom version: get woken up at 6.50am by baby demanding to be fed, toddler barrels into your bed at 7.30am and takes all your pillows to make a fort, the wheels on the bus blaring from the ipad, argument about who is going to change nappies or make a cup of instant coffee
so sad but so true. Maybe when they are 18 we can have our old lives back?
It is like you read my mind! My husband and I were just discussing several of these things as we were heading off to sleep last night…at 8:00 p.m.
The sad thing is, i was starting to see signs of my old life coming back…and then i went and got myself pregnant again, sigh…now i’m set back a few years again, lol.
Robyn-That is totally how I felt when I got pregnant again. Psyched for another child, but not so psyched about all the baby drama that i had totally forgotten about (as I sit here covered in leaky milk and there is spit up running down my arm…) PS I DIDN’T KNOW YOU ARE PREGNANT!!! Congratulations!
Thanks! i’m 24 weeks tomorrow! yeah, it’s funny how you forget about all the baby/pregnancy stuff till your right back in it again.
Oh this is all sadly too true!!
Actually, I never enjoyed too many fancy spa days or upscale nights out……dinner and a movie was date night before we got married, and it still is now that we have a kid. ;)
I don’t even know what a date night IS anymore. As far as I’m concerned, having dinner and opening at bottle of wine is as wild as we get. Pathetic.
Oh heavens! This is hilarious – because really? If you can’t laugh at what our lives have become as mothers then WHAT are we doing?! I love your side-by-side comparison. btw, thanks for the reminder, I forgot what date night was?
You totally nailed it! Thanks for the laugh and reminder–things get so much better when they are in high school… :)
LOVE.
This is one of the upsides of marrying young and poor: it’s not as painful if you go from “take-out Chinese food and Friday night TV” as the date night.
We were living a semi-glamorous life of weekly casino trips to gamble and drink watered down cocktails. I think we’ve been exactly ONCE since I was pregnant with Evan 3 years ago.
Old life: getting to eat all of the food on your own plate and drinking your own beverage.
Mom life: getting only the crusts and drinking from a crusty, cloudy glass without looking to see what horrors lie within.
Love your list!
Yes! This is it! I told my sister that you really know you are a mom when you just get remnants of a meal.
Old life: Get up at 6:30, take a luxurious 20-minute shower, blowdry and straighten hair, get dressed and out the door at 7:45. At work by 8.
Mom life: Get up at 5:30, pray baby doesn’t wake up during 8-minute shower, towel-dry and pull back hair, dress self, dress baby, feed self, feed baby, change at least one dirty diaper and pray you can make it out the door by 7:30 for any chance of making it to work on time.
Seriously, I am laughing. You nailed it again, Suzanne!
p.s. Landon was terrified of Mickey Mouse when we went. Terrified.
old life: weeklong 50mile remote backpacking trips to fantastic amazing crystal clear lakes (skinny dipping!) surrounded by granite peaks and likelihood of spotting cool wildlife. or spur of the moment weekend backpacks to Mt. Hood.
mom life: one and a half mile hikes to local park in the city. planned a week in advance.
Great post! It’s all so true. Sad, but true.
Ahh, it’s funny because it’s true. Love this, sending to “new mom” friends because I’m a jerk like that.
Oh yes. Thank you for the laugh.
Old Life: Wanting to be independent and do things for myself.
Mom Life: Begging my mother to come spend the night at our house so we can fall asleep on the couch watching Modern Family.
Jenna
callherhappy.com
Oh how I wish this weren’t true, but you nailed it! I especially relate to driving around the block 45 times to get a little one asleep.
I’m very reasearch-y in this area before I get pregnant and I can honestly say that some of these things already apply like sleeping in and ‘going out.’
I hope that means I’m ready to be a mom instead of meaning I’m precociously domesticated.
I love it! I was dying laughing while reading the “mom versions”. I am not a mom yet, but this has made me realize two things. One, I need to savor every “mom-less” day I have and be spontaneous while I can. Two, I now have a clearer view of what it looks like to have kids, but know they are worth every second of it!
And all God’s mothers said “Amen.” That was great. I think my body (without chemical help) is completely incapable of sleeping in later than 8 am…