I have been helped, thanks

Guys, thanks so much for your support after my last bitch session. It’s always a relief to hear I’m not the only one who hadn’t figured this baby thing (or this marriage thing) out yet. The truth is I don’t mind doing most of the household stuff. I’m so anal about where the glasses go and how full the washer has to be before you can set the water level on “high” it’s less stressful for me to just do it most of the time. But my attitude of “oh you’ll do it wrong so I’ll just do it myself” has become a self-fulfilling prophesy. E really doesn’t know that the spatulas go in the bottom drawer and not the middle one and when I can’t find any spatulas my LIFE IS OVER AND THE WHOLE WORLD IS COLLAPSING OMG.

I was hoping to avoid this situation with the baby – I’m sure you thought there wasn’t a WRONG way to change a diaper as long as the diaper is covering the correct end of the baby. You are mistaken. The only really right, correct, perfect way to change a diaper is MY way – and don’t you think you can learn MY way it because you are not ME. I have a horrible habit of offering (not) helpful suggestions whenever E’s doing baby stuff instead of letting him do it his own perfectly fine way. “The baby likes it better if you walk while you rock him” “You have to make sure the diaper edges are turned out just the right amount” “If he’s fussing again it’s probably because he wants to sit in the chair instead of lie down” “Look at the baby. Look at him. Look. Look. Look Look LOOOOOOOOOOOOOK.” I might be sucking just a little bit of joy out of fatherhood. So for the next week, I’m going to make no comments. None. As long as he’s doing his share and the baby’s not crying I’m going to keep my opinions to myself. If E actually does need my help I’ll be over here rearranging my spatulas.

That sound you just heard? That was E reading this post and falling to his knees and weeping with joy that all his prayers have been answered.

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No Responses to “I have been helped, thanks”

  1. erniebufflo says:

    Yay! I’ve totally been there too. I realized that my bizarre arrangement of everything in the kitchen meant Jon couldn’t find anything in there, not to mention figure out what we had to work with and actually make dinner. So I reorganized everything and made sure he knew where things were, and between that and me backing off on the MY KITCHEN attitude, he now feels a lot more comfortable in there. Must be hard work being married to folks like us who are perfect, huh?

  2. brigidkeely says:

    Aw, jeeze, it is SO HARD to keep those helpful comments to yourself, too. But you can do it! I believe in you!

  3. breamworthy says:

    It’s so hard being a control freak when no one else will do things properly!!!

    I must be the queen of the “helpful” comments that grow gradually more and more frantic and obsessive until I just take over. I am definitely going to have to work on this when we have a kid, or maybe even before that.

  4. Other Erin says:

    I have never understood anything better than when you said “There is only one right way to do something, MY way.”

    Good luck hon – I’m sure it gets easier. Everyone says you stress the most with the first baby.

  5. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    Please don’t make yourself isolated and insane living up to “perfection”. Perfection can quickly become a lonely, cold place. Sounds like you have a great plan for the upcoming week. Good luck and keep us posted!

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