Excuses, excuses

I think E is getting really tired of the “I can’t, it will make me throw up” excuse. Believe me honey, no one is more tired of that excuse than I am. I’m constantly at Puke Threat Level Yellow, with sudden flashes of Threat Level Red. I advise the American people not to stand between me and a bathroom. Don’t think I’m not loving the excuse to get out of some things (litter box duty) but when I can’t even do the dishes it’s just annoying. I have about a 10 minute time limit on physical activity before I need to hold really still and take deep – hopefully scent-free – breaths. It takes a lot more than 10 minutes to clean my house.

This weekend we’re having family come to visit. I’m really excited, because some of them haven’t been here before, and I love showing people around my house and my town. But I’m getting a little stressed. E suffers from an as-yet-unrecognized by the medical community disease known as dirt blindness. He is incapable of seeing that a floor or a counter or a bathroom is disgustingly dirty and needs to be cleaned. I wish I had pictures of his apartment in San Diego where he “lived” by himself for 8 months. No, those aren’t unnecessary quotation marks. The only thing he ever unpacked was his computer and the only thing he ever cleaned was his beer glass. Don’t be mad sweetie, you know it’s true. He’s really doing a good job of helping while I’m at less than 100%, but when he can’t see the dirt he can’t clean it.

Don’t even suggest that I not worry about it, everyone knows I’m pregnant, they’re not here to see the house they’re here to see us. Lies. You obviously have not met my mother. I think I may have to avoid food on Friday morning, tie a scarf around my face, and break out the rubber gloves. When my mom shows up on Saturday she’ll just re-clean everything anyway. Love you Mom!

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9 Responses to “Excuses, excuses”

  1. meghanstrader says:

    Think of it this way, with all the women coming to visit you’ll have lots of dirtsighted people to help you clean! I promise, we’ll clean up our messes and help with anything else while we’re there!

  2. kt says:

    hey, it’s madktdisease from jezebel. i am soo enjoying reading this :)

  3. Abbie says:

    My sister had really bad morning sickness with both her boys, with the second one she actually ended up on prescription anti-nausea drugs. With #1 she ended up taking a mix of Unisom (the PM part of Tylenol PM) and extra Vitamin B6 (google the combo). She would take half a unisom during the day and one at night and it really worked in quenching some of her nausea. HOWEVER it did make her a little extra lethargic. So maybe if you try it you wont feel the constant need to puke but you can still have the excuse of being too tired to do the things you don’t want to!

    p.s. I’m enjoying reading your blog but it still freaks me out that so many of my friends/peers have or are having kids… does this mean we are adults?

  4. Other Erin says:

    If it makes you feel better, you don’t have to clean at all for when I come. :) I am so excited!!!

  5. bebehblog says:

    Meghan – Thanks! I can’t wait to see the boys!

    KT – I’ve been secertly stalking your blog too and wish I was half as much fun as you appear to be. Good luck at your ultrasound!

    Abbie – HIIII! I didn’t know you were reading! Yeah, I think I’ve pretty much officially become an adult now. I mean, the wedding, the dog, the mortgage were all big clues, but the fact that I’m pregnant and my mother is happy about it made it official.

  6. FF says:

    There’s actually a medical explanation for the dirt blindness. Men don’t have as many rods and cones in their eyes, so they literally can’t see fine detail as well as women can. Thus, they really can’t see the dust as well as we can!

  7. SarahMC says:

    Quit BRAGGING about your medical knowledge, FF! We KNOW your husband’s a doctor.

    /snark

    Constant puking is one thing that REALLY frightens me about being pregnant one day.

  8. sarrible says:

    FF, that doesn’t explain my roommate’s dirt blindness. She’s a messy lady.

  9. kt says:

    my ultrasound came back fine! i’m sooooo happy.

    also i want cranberry sauce. a whole can. right now.

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