Bad Parenting 101
Your baby’s immune system is very delicate for the first few months of life. Try to avoid exposing him to places where germs or bacteria might be present.
Like, for example, questionable bodies of water.
It’s very important you dress your baby appropriately for the weather conditions. You don’t want him to get too cold…
For example, dunking him the the river and then getting him naked.
Or too hot.
For example, holding him near a bonfire.
And most importantly, do not use your baby in any pagan rituals, especially those involving human sacrifice.
Do not put your baby in a fire.
****No babies were harmed in the making of this public service announcement. E and I would never actually do anything to put Baby Evan in danger. And if we did I would not be stupid enough to put pictures on the internet!****
That’s it, lady. I’m calling DHS. How dare you take E outside and expose him to germs, you dirty trollop? Do you want hi to grow a third arm? Babies must never be exposed to germs, lest they get polio or swine flu. You should have at least wrapped him in a plastic bubble beforehand. Tsk tsk.
[…] would hate the water. And yet Baby Evan has gone from perfectly happy to be placed in large, questionable bodies of water to refusing to even stand near a sprinkler. It’s also unfortunate that his parents wasted an […]