– I had a dream last night that Baby Evan suddenly learned how to walk. Never mind the fact that he can’t even roll himself over yet in real life. He kept falling down the stairs and running into sharp corners and breaking things. I think my subconscious wants me to get a jump on the baby-proofing.

– Yesterday the baby threw such a huge fit he actually managed to squeeze out a couple of real tears. It was totally adorable if you could ignore the wailing, screaming, thrashing baby attached to two damp little cheeks.

– My in-laws make excellent baby-visitors for two reasons 1. They let us hand off Evan yesterday long enough for E and I to go see Wolverine. And 2. Their presence prevents E from playing dorky computer games. So not only did I get to avoid an entire burping/changing/feeding/burping/changing cycle, I haven’t had to sigh pointedly and glare at my husband in three days.

– This morning was Baby’s 1 month check-up. While the doctor and I were discussing his throwing-up problem, he decided it would be better to just show her and sent a huge glob of baby puke right onto her shoes. I tried really hard not to laugh. I failed.

– Baby Evan continues to grow and gain weight at what I think is a horrifying pace but considered normal for an infant. He’s now 9 lbs 14 oz and 21 inches long. Plus his head has gotten three inches bigger around. I’m hoping that’s a sign he has a HUGE BRAIN instead of looking like a bobble-head forever.

– This morning I also submitted Evan to an hour of horrifying, painful torture with dozens of sharp, sharp knives. Oh, wait no I didn’t. He did get one teeny tiny Heb-B booster shot that took less than a second. But don’t try to tell him it was nothing, he’s too busy learning to dial a phone so he can report me to the proper authorities. Actually, he seems to have been so traumatized the only way he can deal is to sleep for the rest of the morning. OK by me, especially considering it’s my first day doing all the baby-care myself.