A Public Service Announcement

Dear Fellow Pregnant People,

Please promise me right now you will not so much as LOOK at a scale between now and three months after you give birth. I am trying to save you from the pain I experienced this morning, when in a fit of insanity I decided to find out just how much weight I had gained. I actually haven’t been that hungry lately, and with the nice weather I’ve made it to the gym multiple times. My maternity clothes haven’t been getting any tighter and when I Googled images of “20 weeks pregnant” (but for the LOVE OF GOD, if you do, turn on safe search) I was amazed at how much bigger everyone’s bump was. I thought it would be nice to know I wasn’t in danger of getting a talking to from my doctor on Thursday, warning about the dangers of excess weight gain.

I WAS SO WRONG. I cannot believe how wrong I am. Ridiculously wrong. I can’t even tell you how much I’ve gained, it’s far far too embarrassing. Unless my baby is a large bowling ball, I have no excuse or explanation. The bacon thing ended months ago. I’ve lost my sweet tooth. I’m eating fruit and vegetables and chicken. There is soy milk in my fridge!! I swear if I wasn’t pregnant I’d be down five pounds instead of up [enter ridiculous number here]. Now instead of gloating when they weigh me on Thursday, I’m going to ask the doctor if there’s something wrong with me, or if I need to worry. Worry about the baby’s health I mean, there is no point in worrying about myself. The chances of ever wearing shorts or –  heaven forbid – a bikini again are about the same as my chances of becoming the Queen of Sheeba.

Please take my advice!

7 Responses to “A Public Service Announcement”

  1. straderspiel says:

    I gained probably 50 lbs with my first baby; and I lost 47 of it right after delivering. You are eating healty, you are going to the gym, don’t worry about what the number says. Your bump may not be that big, but trust me, water is heavy!!

  2. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    Your diet sounds excellent and you aren’t diabetic (I don’t think) so this is undoubtedly the fluid retention of pregnancy. If anything, just watch your salt/msg consumption.

  3. sarrible says:

    Here’s one keepsake from my silly, silly health-magazine job: Soy milk often has more sugar and calories than the kind from cows. FYI. I’m sure you look wonderful, and your baby is just very, very dense. In terms of matter, not of intelligence.

  4. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    Sarrible brings up a valid point regarding soy. Unless there’s a specific reason you use soy (lactose issues), you might want to research the pros/cons of soy milk and/or discuss it w/your ob. The professional literature is very mixed on it’s merits and possible risk factors.

  5. TheDomina says:

    I second/third asking your doc about eating/drinking a lot of soy b/c it mimics estrogen, not sure if that can affect anything though (I just know b/c of some hormone issues and my doc mentioned it to me).

    But don’t worry about your weight! It is probably fluid retention and such, you are growing a baby! You’re supposed to gain weight! As long as you stay healthy that’s all that matters!

  6. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    Concur Domina! Soy does mimic estrogen, in it’s natural form it’s not consumable by humans, as a crop soybeans have the highest pesticide exposure before leaving the field, AND the crop is frequently of genetically modified stock. So….while an adult body can probably handle any minor curve balls/risks that coexist w/a soy product, pregnancy makes it more complicated. Let us know what your Ob recommends!

  7. h_a_l says:

    Wow – thanks everyone for the soy warnings. I’ve been using it (although organic) in my cereal instead of milk (because milk/dairy in general has made me want to puke while preggo). We need a public service announcement about Soy milk on this blog next :)

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