Baby Evan reports his experience trying Puffs brand tissues.

OMG!!!! I CAN REACH SO MUCH STUFF NOW! LIKE THIS BOX! THIS BOX THAT HOLDS THESE….WHITE THINGS! THAT I CAN PULL ON! OOOOOOO THAT ONE CAME OUT! OOOOOOOOO THAT ONE CAME OUT TOO! AND THAT ONE! AND THAT ONE! THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM!  I COULD PULL THEM OUT ALL DAY! AND THEY’RE SOFT!

I wonder what happens if I put them in my mouth?

AAAAAAAAH!!!! IT’S DISSOLVING! I BETTER BITE IT AGAIN! SOFT WHITE THINGS DISSOLVING IN MY MOUTH THAT I WANT TO BITE AND BITE SOME MORE! I CAN ALSO PULL THEM APART INTO TEENY TINY LITTLE PIECES! SO TINY! BOY, THESE TEENY TINY PIECES ARE HARD TO PICK UP! I SHOULD RIP UP ANOTHER ONE! IT’S LIKE PLAYING IN A GIANT CLOUD OF SOFT WHITE SOFTNESS!

Oh crap, I think Mom heard me.

I give these tissues two thumbs up for FUN.

Not at actual product review. Baby Evan was not compensated in any way for his opinion, except that his mommy stopped doing stuff on her computer and started paying closer attention to what her 11 month old was doing. Which in baby world is the best kind of compensation possible.

We’re having a little bit of rain here in Connecticut, the way Lady Gaga’s outfits are a little unusual or Tiger Woods had a little bit of a wandering eye.

Luckily we live on a hill and don’t have anywhere urgent to go, although it’s a good thing I had something planned for dinner since my local grocery store is closed and I just saw our local pizza place on the news surrounded by sandbags.

I drove down to the path where we used to walk to dog to take a look at the river and then went over to the falls to see how high the water was. Pretty high.

You can find some pictures of what the falls usually look like here, video of the falls during a normal day here, and more pictures of the flood in Connecticut here. If a bunch of the pictures look familiar, it’s because I emailed my photos to the local news station and they put them in their slideshow. I’M FAMOUS!

That island in the middle? Is not usually an island.

Usually this part of the river is barely deep enough to kayak.

On the right in the old mill they turned into condos. The leasing agent standing outside said the river had actually gone DOWN since this morning.

These falls are usually a nice quiet picnic spot

The falls from the bridge above - I got off it quick because I could feel it shaking.

The falls are called "Indian Leap". The story is one Indian tribe was chasing another Indian tribe and when they got to the falls the first tribe all jumped off the rocks in desperation. They died. Great story, right?

This weekend while running super exciting Saturday morning errands (Target, Home Depot, sporting goods store, my life is so glamorous), E and I ran into someone we used to know. Someone from a long long time ago. Eight years to be exact.

Right there in the aisle of BJ’s, holding an oversized jug of olive oil and a sleepy baby, I was faced with just how much my life has changed.

I have written and deleted a zillion words here to explain this next part because there is no way to sum up college in just a few paragraphs. It was new. It was crazy. It was fun. It was full of drama. It felt like the most important time ever in the history of anyone’s life ever. It felt like it was going to last forever and I was totally OK with that. I hated change.

If 19 year old Suzanne were suddenly dropped into my living room, she’d be totally horrified. She’d think I was boring and kind of fat and oh my GOD when was the last time I had my eyebrows done? What do you mean I haven’t seen a movie in a theater in a year? How is it possible that you spent your weekend vacuuming and thought that was a good time? And ew, breastfeeding, really?

But 19-year old Suzanne was shallow and vain and selfish. She made a lot of bad choices. She didn’t love anybody as much as she loved herself. She was only an average student, an average friend, an average employee. She was not always a nice person. So I don’t really care what she thinks.

My life now may be boring but I have a beautiful son.

I may be kind of fat but I’m strong and healthy.

The bad choices I make these days are more like eating french fries than possibly ruining someone’s life.

I love where I am now and wouldn’t give back the last eight years for anything.

Besides, that guy we ran into? Was pushing a cart full of diapers for his three kids.

A little while ago I posted a list of fitness goals I had for myself. I thought putting it on the internet would be a good way to keep myself on track and create some accountability. But since my fitness manifesto, no one has asked me even once why I am surrounded by this pile of Diet Coke cans and York Peppermint Pattie wrappers. YOU GUYS ARE NOT DOING YOUR PART.

I have done a pretty good job attending Stroller Strides, which, by itself, is making a difference. I’m now 4 lbs under the “pre-pregnancy weight” on my medical chart and only 10 lbs away from my actual pre-pregnancy weight. I’ve been told that as long as I’m nursing, losing those last 10 lbs might be the hardest weight anyone has ever tried to lose, but I’m determined to at make every effort. Although I doubt the 20 lbs more I’d like to lose after that is going to be a walk in the park. More like the world’s longest marathon barefoot in the snow up hill both ways. Like the olden days.

My real motivation for losing another 30 lbs is my friend Erin’s wedding in September. I cannot put off ordering the gorgeous J. Crew bridesmaids dress she picked out any longer, but ordering a dress sight unseen means all I have to base my size on is MEASUREMENTS. In INCHES. Which I have to take WITH A TAPE MEASURE. And guys, the biggest size the dress comes in is a 16. Normally, I wouldn’t be anywhere near a 16 but since it’s a “bridesmaids dress” they run small. Because how dare you even think about being involved in a wedding unless you’ve successfully dieted your way down to a respectable size, like a double zero. (Which is an actual size this dress can be ordered in. DOUBLE ZERO. LESS THAN ZERO.) My plan is to call the girl at the bridal shop and ask her to realistically tell me if a) a 16 will fit over my boobs and b) how much extra room there is in the mid section in case possibly maybe my stomach has, er, expanded by September. No, I have nothing to tell you.

Since the giving up soda and candy plan has been a total bust, I’m going to add the world’s most terrifying exercise video to my workout plan. That’s right. I am now the proud owner of Jillian Michaels – 30 Day Shred. I’ve bullied E into doing it with me so for the next month don’t expect to have any conversations with either of us that don’t include “OMG MY AAAAAAARMS. They HUUUUURT. And my LEEEEEGS are SOOOOOORE. Let me tell you more about this workout thing I’m doing! Wait, why are you running away? Come back! It’s REALLY INTERESTING.”

***Don’t forget I’m still looking for donations to help me reach my March of Dimes fund-raising goal. Any amount you can give helps, be it $1 or $20. Our team is doing the best we can but it’s hard to keep badgering people you know for money – so I’ll badger my blog readers instead! Just kidding. All you have to do is click on that purple widget right over there ——–>and you’ll help with RESEARCH and SCIENCE and stuff. Thanks so much!***

I’m going crazy cleaning and finishing all the decorations for Baby Evan’s 1st birthday next weekend so I’m a little lacking in the creative department right now. Although I have no aspirations to be the ACTUAL Pioneer Woman, this is my attempt at a PW style recipe post, hence the eighty bazillion pictures. Please to enjoy.

Like I’ve said before (just this week actually) I am not a very good cook. I am, however, a more than decent baker. In fact, I once won first prize at the Ledyard Town Fair for my two crust apple pie and went on to do fairly well in the state-wide competition. Considering I was the only entrant under the age of 50 I’m just pleased I wasn’t last. It helped that I lived in an honest to God apple orchard at the time. Being able to bake with fruit that was still growing just minutes before I peeled it definitely gave me the motivation to really perfect my pie.

Since a regular old two-crust is old news, I’m always on the look out for new apple pie recipes. I recently heard about buttermilk pies and was intrigued. I’ve never been exactly sure what buttermilk is (sour milk? unfinished yogurt?) or what it’s for (biscuits? pancakes?) but when I found this recipe that claimed it turned into CUSTARD I knew I had to try it. CUSTARD is one of the top three things I absolutely cannot resist in a dessert, along with meringue and lemon curd. Oh and graham cracker crusts. Or key limes. And marzipan. Ok, I just REALLY like dessert. But this pie is special. Really special. From the pastry crust to the sugar topping it is delicious and sweet and tart and creamy and SO GOOD I almost divorced my husband when he tried to eat the last piece without sharing.

I highly recommend this pie. Or you could just invite yourself over for dinner and I’ll make it for you.

Apple-Buttermilk Custard Pie
Adapted from Cooking Light (and when I say adapted, I mean I made it a lot less “light”)

Crust*
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup shortening
4-5 tablespoons ice cold water

Throw the flour and salt in a mixing bowl. Toss in the shortening too and then mash it up with a fork until it’s in little pieces. Don’t mix it TOO well, since the little pieces of shortening in the crust is what makes it flaky. Add cold water about a tablespoon at a time until the dough is sticky enough to hold together. Do most of your mixing with the fork but make sure you test it by squishing it together with your hands or you’ll end up adding too much water.

Sometimes I just make pie crust and eat it without baking a pie. I know it's weird.

Streusel Topping:
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 tablespoons chilled butter

Filling:
5 cups sliced peeled apples**
1 tablespoon butter
1 cup granulates sugar, divided
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
2 tablespoons flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 3/4 cups buttermilk***
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Roll out the dough large enough to fit in a 9-inch deep dish**** pie plate. Try not to handle the crust any more than you have to, the less touching you do the better it ends up.

I got this Roulpat mat just this week and it made my pie crust sooooo much easier to roll out. I didn't have to add any extra flour to keep it from sticking so the crust was super flaky.

Fold over the edges and pinch them to make a fluted edge.

I once bought a fancy fluted edge maker. It was crappy. Just use your fingers.

To prepare the streusel, lightly spoon 1/3 cup flour into a measuring cup. Combine the flour, brown sugar and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon in a medium bowl. Cut in butter with a fork (or pastry blender, if you’re fancy) until mixture is all mealy. Put it in the fridge.

Try to resist eating all the sugar-butter right out of the bowl.

Preheat over to 325 degrees.

To prepare the filling, heat a large skillet to medium heat and throw in the butter. Add sliced apple, 1/4 cup granulated sugar, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, and 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg. Cook for about 10 minutes, or until apples are tender.

My apples are sliced into little rings like that because I use an apple peeler-corer-slicer that attaches to my countertop. It's an absolute necessity if you plan to make more than one apple pie a year.

Pour into prepared crust.

Mmmmmm....appley goodness.

Combine 3/4 cup granulated sugar, 2 tablespoons flour, salt and eggs, stir with a whisk. Add buttermilk and vanilla, and stir a little more.

I had to steal this whisk from the baby. He LOVES whisks. Is that weird?

Pour over apple mixture.

Yikes, that's a full pie!

Bake at 325 degrees for 30 minutes. Reduce over temperature to 300 degrees (do not remove pie) and sprinkle streusel topping over filling.

Try to sprinkle it around evenly, but it doesn't really matter since all the butter melts anyways.

Bake at 300 degrees for 40 minutes or until pie is set. Let stand 1 hour before serving.*****

All puffed up right out of the oven. DON'T EAT IT YET.

*The original recipe suggests using a store-bought crust, which I personally consider just plain un-American. Only communists use store-bought crust. Communists who kick puppies and burn flags and hate freedom and don’t want to find a cure for cancer OR save the whales. But really, my recipe for pie crust is the easiest thing in the world and impossible to do wrong. At least try it before using the crap from a box.

My pie crust/pie recipes - as you can see they've been well loved

**Granny Smith is the most popular pie apple but unfortunately they don’t grow here in New England. When apples are in season I prefer Cortlands or Mutsus. Just try to avoid Macintosh in pies since they cook down really quickly and you end up with mush.

***The “light” version calls for fat-free buttermilk but my grocery store didn’t have fat free (OH DARN) so I used low-fat. I’ve had trouble finding buttermilk at all at some grocery stores so just use whatever you can get.

****My pie plate is NOT “deep” so I just built up the edge of the crust. It still came really really close to overflowing. I recommend using an actual deep-dish plate.

*****NO REALLY, LET IT SIT. If you don’t the custard is all runny and soupy. I KNOW it looks delicious and I KNOW you just baked a whole pie all by yourself and you deserve to eat a huge chunk right now but it will be even better in an hour. For the record, my recipe says “Yields 10 servings”, but I think they’re talking about doll-servings. It yields 8 actual person sized servings, but you’ll probably eat two pieces at a time, so at least try to save some to share later.

OK, NOW you can eat it. Better hurry though, looks like someone else already started.