Happy Easter from Suzanne, E and Baby Evan, who was so excited about his first holiday he fell asleep immediately after we dressed him up in his ducky jacket.

Today Baby Evan is 1 week old. I almost can’t believe I managed to keep a baby alive for a whole week! Here’s a wrap up of how we’re doing and what we’ve learned so far.

– I feel fine. The only time I even notice I’ve recently given birth is when I cough or sneeze. So far I’ve also avoided peeing my pants. Yah Kegals.
– Baby Evan is getting FAT. Newborns come with a layer of something called “brown fat” that helps them survive the first few days outside the nice, comfy uteruses they’ve been hanging out in for the last 9 months. A weight loss after birth of 5-10% is normal for all babies but is incredibly terrifying if you know your baby isn’t eating. I was worried that my UsWeekly had somehow given my unborn child an eating disorder in utero. It turns out I didn’t need to be worried because since he’s started breastfeeding he’s gained back at least 10 oz. That’s well on the way to chubby baby thighs.
– My lactation consultant actually owns that ridiculously expensive baby boutique I made fun of a few months ago – the one I swore I’d never buy anything from. But they’re so NICE there it’s hard to stay away. I went back on Friday and talked to their baby-wearing expert. No, really. She teaches a baby-wearing class. She taught us (E’s almost as excited about it as I am) how to use the Maya Ring Sling and Mom bought it for me as a birthday present. I won’t write a glowing recommendation yet, but I have a feeling one is coming.
– Baby Evan has only been in his nursery for about 30 minutes total since we brought him home. He just doesn’t appreciate how much effort I put into it yet. I’ll give him another week before I start feeling insulted.
– Thank God for the help I have here at home. Without Mom doing the (enormous amounts of) laundry, cleaning and cooking I wouldn’t have had time to use the bathroom, let alone update this blog. If E wasn’t such a huge huge help with diapers and changing and cuddling Baby Evan I’d be a sobbing, milk and pee covered wreck instead of someone with freshly shaved legs. I almost feel guilty for letting them help so much, but since they’ll both be gone by the first week of May I figure I should take advantage while I can.
– Jaundice sucks. For something that’s fairly common and usually not very serious it sure has disrupted our first few days home.
– Since I have a baby now, I’ll try to keep this next part PG. I cannot believe how many butthole flippin morons I’ve had to deal with regarding Baby Evan’s medical care. Those pee-pee heads at the on-base clinic are lazy and careless and if they all fell off a cliff the world would be a better place. Fortunately, we have the option to use REAL pediatricians off-base – it just won’t be entirely free. But the peace of mind knowing my baby is being care for by people who can TELL TIME is well worth a few co-pays.

Things I bought:
1. Nipple shields
2. Hot/cold packs for breast engorgement
3. Lansinoh lanolin cream
4. Bouncy/vibrating seat
5. Maya Sling
6. NEWBORN sized diapers (The size 1 says they’re good from 8-11 lbs but at 7 lbs Evan is swimming in them)
7. Extra burp cloths
8. Extra hamper for downstairs

Things I didn’t need:
1. Baby shampoo/powder/lotion/oil
2. 90% of my adorably baby clothes
3. Co-sleeper
4. Crib & fancy bedding
5. Mobile/toys/stuffed animals
6. Pack’n’play

You asked, I answer.

I am almost totally healed from the whole birthing process. Well, I think I am – I’m afraid I still can’t see over my massive boobs to check. But considering how terrified I was of OMG TEARING AND STITCHES, I am pleasantly surprised at how non-traumatic it turned out to be. I’m back to walking instead of waddling and that horrible kicked-in-the-crotch pain is gone. Seeing as how I haven’t had a period in 9 months the amount of bleeding I have is pretty minimal. I’d hardly even know I had given birth if it weren’t for this baby who keeps hanging around all the time.

My (whatwasIthinkingwhenIgetpregnantthisisgoingtolookawfulandtotallyunidentifiable) side tattoo has emerged completely unscathed. The stretch marks on my hips and love handles never lengthened enough to reach it and the position on my ribs was far enough back that the skin didn’t stretch. So I still have a cute hummingbird instead of a toucan.